12.18am

And a new week begins, again. It’s the third week of 2012, & lately, things have been going pretty well for me. Been busy with a few stuffs the past few days, but all’s good. Like I said (& hoped & prayed for), I have a good feeling about this year. (:

Darling Rebecca just turned 21 three days ago, & her 21st party was lovely. The best part was that all the Ootoot girls were present on that day, helping the Princess get dolled up & prepare for the event. (: Dear Kootkoot, you’re now a woman, & officially legal to do all (well, most) things. Heheh. Stay lovely as always, & stay you, because you know we love you for who you are. Muaaah. Ps./ I hope the pictures that I took are okay, hehe. Huggy.

TodayYesterday, I had such a hard time waking up in the morning. Probably because I reached home pretty late the night before, after Becca’s party. It was nice to get to see & hug the folks in church, & catch up a little bit. Heheh. Missed them. (: Also, I really really liked the Sunday’s sermon. It kind of made me reflect in a few ways. This, is what was asked: “What would you do differently if you could live your life all over again?”

I guess there is no wrong or right answer to that question, but.. I couldn’t really find the perfect answer to it too. I, didn’t know. I, still don’t know. Is It a good thing or a bad thing? That maybe, just maybe, I don’t really have much regrets? I’m not too sure either. I remember having a few regrets, months & years back, & I’m a little surprised at myself that I can’t really recall what were those regrets & what were they about. Blessing or curse? Even that, I can’t decide. Hahah. But I’m pretty sure those unpleasant days where I’d spend every second drowning myself in thoughts of regrets are somewhere, at the back of my mind..maybe hiding behind the timeline of my memories. It’s just there, it’s not gone. And I think, without me realizing, I was the one who made the choice to hide those regrets far away, where it’d be hard for me to find it again.

And that’s one of the things that the sermon made me realize. That we all have choices. The future has already been decided, but God still gave us the freedom to make choices. Sometimes we make the right ones, sometimes the wrong ones. But even the wrong ones sometimes, are actually the right ones. Because the wrong choices usually brings us closer to the right ones.

“Take risks.” I always have been afraid of taking risks, until. Until I placed my heart on the line. Sometimes, we’re so afraid of taking risks, that we unintentionally tend to turn a deaf ear on what God might be telling us to do..

Going back to the question that I have yet to give myself an answer, if I could live my life again, I wouldn’t change a thing…except for a few minor things. (heheh) Like maybe, study for A Maths a few months before O Levels & not just a few weeks before the actual paper. And maybe, I would not do that stupid handstand a few years ago that I did in my bedroom, which caused me a fractured toe & 3 weeks of hell walking around in a cast. Lol. (: Yep, I guess there are a few small changes that I would do if I could. But, I can’t. So, there isn’t really any point in brooding about them right?

“But because you said so.” Maybe I was meant to go through all those hurts & regrets, even though I didn’t understand why. Sometimes, God makes us go through things that we don’t understand, but finding the logic to it is not the solution. Obedience & Trust is. Because I realized, (well the sermon made me realize, hahah) that when God says so, just believe even if it’s against all logic.

“Everything is possible for him who believes.”

Goodnight.

Buds gets back to his camp from the forest tomorrow/today. (: & then in a few days, after the post-prep of the mission, he’ll be out. I haven’t heard his voice since 3 days ago. I missed him today in church (well, not just today actually, hahah) Hope the mission went well.. I’m excited to hear stories, especially about his section. They usually do a lot of retarded stuffs in the forest. Heh.

“Armyshoes.” I do, too.